I am so damn tired but I’ve successfully run a chainsaw, limbed and bucked a tree, and practiced face cuts enough that I should be felling trees tomorrow!
Also the scheduler agreed to put me on a project that comes back to Flagstaff on the regular so I can find a therapist. I found one online who has an office literally down the street, so I’m hoping that could work out.
No more need to run away to Oaxaca, which was my backup plan.
While work’s been normal, training has been taking up all of my time and making me want to run away and just take a nap. However, I’m now Wilderness First Aid certified, and am in the process of getting my A level chainsaw certification (or at least its equivalent since only the National Forest Service uses the A-B-C level qualifications for chainsawing). C is the best you can get, by the way, so don’t get too excited.
I’ve been having some crazy times lately, and consequently have sworn off drinking (gods help me) and vowed not to actively try to hook up with any coworkers (hard when you’re with your coworkers 24-7 on project, and then live with them on off days). Sometimes I just want to splurge on a nice motorcycle and take off into the wilderness. I’m past giving any fucks about anything, and probably let people know it too much.
For now the RTW trip is still a go, although I’m wondering more and more if I should just get a job I enjoy and stay somewhere for a little while to try and have a little stability in my life. Then move to New Zealand and beyond. I don’t really know though. I’m just super tired, tired of drama, tired of being tired, tired of feeling suffocated by everything around me. Sigh.
Last night I had Korean food for the first time since leaving Korea- one of our crew members is from Seoul and she decided that she would cook for us instead of going out for crew dinner. She’s one of the funniest, sassiest Koreans I’ve ever met, with a great understanding of American humor/English nuances, and I nearly died of happiness tasting her cooking and having my taste buds nigh burned off and my sinuses cleared out (I’d been having issues with them). But then this morning I had my first migraine ever, and I’m scared it was last night’s dinner which set it off. Of course, I’ve read that migraines can be caused by changes in sleep, exercise, diet…or it could simply be hereditary. All of those things have changed within the past 24 hours, and I’ve had visual migraines before but not the painful kind. Please don’t let it be that I have to give up Korean food forever now!